From Full Moon to Dark Moon - Phases in a Perfume Lover's Life

If you've been around perfume long enough you notice that you go through phases. One day you love certain scents, the next day you don't. Even longtime favorites can suddenly lose their appeal.

I'm not talking about the seasonal shifts in which temperature and humidity can affect your choices. These are lightning-quick reversals of taste that seem to come out of nowhere. They might last a day or two, but a phase can go on for weeks or months or years. It might involve just one perfume or a handful.

In a more extreme case you can enter a phase in which you lose your taste for most perfume - not just those in your collection. I seem to be in one of those phases now. For the past week or so I haven't wanted to wear my commercial perfumes, with the exception of Serge Lutens Vétiver Oriental. To be more accurate, I haven't wanted to spray on any of them. The act of spraying seems to be a sticking point right now. I think I know why.

Two or three weeks ago, they painted a nearby apartment, and the paint fumes were so strong in my own apartment that I felt dizzy and as if someone or something were pushing the air out of my lungs. It was a horrible feeling. Since then, I've only wanted to smell what I consider to be quiet smells - the Vétiver Oriental, essential oils, organic lotions and one or two attars. And I've wanted to control their application, which means dabbing instead of spraying. I feel better when the scent isn't so diffuse.

I'd actually noticed this over the past couple of years - when I'd spray a bunch of scents my thyroid would react, my throat would get congested and I'd feel overwhelmed. I tried to ignore that, but it was an early sign. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing for your system. Or, since we don't know what chemicals lurk in commercial perfumes, maybe it was too much of a bad thing and my body was trying to tell me so. We perfume lovers don't want to hear these things.

During the past couple of weeks I've also become hyperaware of the perfumes worn by others. In the past I'd notice them, but now they hit me like a brick in the face. I don't say anything, but I do move away if I can. To those who believe you cannot become sensitized to scent and that the people who find your perfume loud or unpleasant are just pissy control freaks - wait until it happens to you.

It's not all bad. Since I've cut back on my perfume spritzing my thyroid has calmed down noticeably. (I was diagnosed last year with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, a condition in which your body attacks your thyroid.) It's the number-one thyroid complaint of women and they don't know what causes it.

You know what I'm thinking. Of course, I'd have to go cold-turkey on all fragrance to test my theory, and I just might. Lou, over at the Moving and Shaking blog, did exactly that for her own health reasons, and it's really helped her. Check out her story (and how her trip to Paris, perfume capital of the world, went). There is life beyond perfume.

We may believe that our lives would be bereft if we didn't wear our favorite perfumes. We think our perfumes tell our stories and without them we wouldn't have a story. That's an awful lot of power to give an object. Since I've stopped wearing most of my favorites, I've found that it's simply not true. We are the story. Not our perfumes. I still want to smell nice, but I feel far less attached to the stories of my perfumes. It's more freeing than I would've imagined. And so far, I am not mourning what some might perceive as my "loss."

I'm calling this phase my Dark Moon phase. I could call it my Crescent Moon phase, since I'm still wearing some fragrance, but I think Dark Moon sounds more romantic and is closer to what's happening, because the Dark Moon is also called the New Moon. This is a place where one thing ends and another begins. I have no idea how long it will last. I may swing back into Full Moon phase next week. But somehow I think not. I will listen to the wisdom of my body - something I have ignored the past couple of years of my perfume obsession. It will tell me when and how to reapproach perfume.

This is fine with me. Since I've cut back on my use of perfume, I've discovered, among other things, nuances in the scent of my cats' fur that I've never picked up before. And I've felt quieter, more contemplative, inside. It's delightful. There is life beyond perfume. A silver lining. Strange, perhaps, coming from a perfume lover, but nonetheless true.

(The pictures are of some of the scented products I am still using - they come from Whole Foods Market and Aveda.)

Editor's Note added 7/31/08: It seems natural perfumer Anya McCoy has had some perfume sensitivity issues of her own, as has another perfume blogger, Heather, at Memory and Desire. Read about them here, on Anya's blog.

Comments

[Rappleyea]

Very interesting post! Several years ago, as I practiced aromatherapy more and more (as an adjunct to energy work and massage - not fragrance blending), I got where I couldn't stand commercial scents at all. I've started to come back to them in the past year, but I use muscle testing before trying a scent on, and I really try to avoid the ones with the synthetic musk chemicals. I still only want to wear a perfume a few times a week, and like you, I only want to dab.

[scentsignals]

hi, rappleyea - wow, i hadn't thought about using muscle testing - that's a great idea. don't know how to do it though, since i've only had it done at a chiropractor's office, but maybe i could learn.

yes, those musks (and i love my musks so, waaaah!) seem to be involved in this for me, too. if i imagine them i can even feel my body gearing up to react to them. what does that tell us?!

right now i find i have a little reaction in the pit of my stomach when i think about most of my perfumes. not quite queasy, just unsettled.

thanks for your interesting comment!

[Anya]

Hello:
I've read and enjoyed your blog for some time, and this is my first post. After reading about two other bloggers who are having the same difficulties as you, I blogged about it tonight: http://anyasgarden.blogspot.com/2008/07/perfume-seems-to-be-doing-some.html

Good wishes for a lifelong ability to sniff and enjoy, and in a related note, yes, cat fur is a great scent!

Warmly,
Anya

[scentsignals]

hi, anya - thanks for reading, for your kind compliment, for your comment, and for leaving the link. i'll come check out your article shortly, but i'm glad to hear others are talking about this. i think some of our scent-sensitivity goes unnoticed because our thyroid and hormonal issues can often go undiagnosed. it's not just about sneezing and wheezing. there are some quiet changes going on, too.

yes, cat fur may well be one of the best things i've ever smelled. glad to find other fans! good wishes backatcha.

[perfumeshrine]

That's sad to hear but on the other hand, if it makes you feel better I guess it's the best thing to do! We're inundated with scents and a break is good for the soul as well as the body.
I hope you feel as best as possible in no time
:-)

[scentsignals]

hi, helg - thank you for the good wishes. it will be interesting to see where this leads. as i just told heather at memory & desire, there is plenty to write about, even if you're not dousing yourself with perfume every day.

[chayaruchama]

I feel for you !
Poor dear...

I just wrote back to Heather, saying much the same; I care more about YOU than the perfume, believe me.
It's your thoughts and feelings that matter, along with your well-being.

Rest is good, I'm with Helg.

[Anyway I can help, let me know ]

[scentsignals]

hi, chaya - thanks for writing. i appreciate your concern and your kindness.

actually, i don't feel so much like a poor dear... more like someone figuring something out and getting a chance to do something about it.

plus, it's another avenue of exploration, part of the bigger adventure, so it's all good.

[ScentScelf]

On scent vacations and such...

As much as I enjoy experiencing many perfumes, and exploring the world of perfumery/scent/etc., I am not one who feels undressed without perfume (or any extra scent). Depending on the day, the temperature, and where I know I'll be/what I'll be doing, I may be inclined to: a) wear a scent of the day, b) be a human test strip (and be "patchy," c) skip scent altogether.

Having only been at this perfume exploration for less than a year, it will be interesting to see if this attitude changes, but at the moment, I wonder if it won't help keep me from undergoing any "overwhelmed" issues.

It *is* all a big adventure, isn't it?

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