Don't Cry for Me, Perfumistas

It's been an interesting few weeks, scent-wise. Still not feeling it for most of the mainstream commercial stuff. In fact, a little alarm bell goes off in my belly whenever I smell things like Estée Lauder Sensuous and Hanae Mori Magical Moon at the office.

I actually have to take a step back and go the other way when I encounter them because it feels as though I've just run into a wall. The wall floats about five feet off the wearers' bodies, so sometimes maneuvering out of its way is awkward (I like the wearers, just not their walls).

I know they're popular perfumes, and most people probably react positively to them, but to me, right now, scents like these feel vaguely poisonous, invasive and suffocating. This from someone who has surrounded herself with similar perfume walls for decades! How dare I?!

Funny, but I've always thought of my perfume as extending an invitation of some sort - like a come-hither calling card dancing in the air around me. A radiant indicator of my worldly tastes and sophistication and of course, my irresistible sexiness. ;).

But maybe it was more like a glaring, buzzing neon sign. And I wonder, was it creating distance and separation instead of drawing them in like flies? I'm sure it was, at least with some people.

I haven't gone cold turkey on scent, rather I've been exploring olfactory options that feel "right" to me. These include Indian and Arabic attars, scented lotions and essential and perfume oils. I'm only rarely wearing alcohol-based scents these days, and when I do wear them, I dab rather than spray.

Actually, I anoint myself, which is part of the fun of this phase, which I am now calling my Soft-Core Perfume phase. Dark Moon, Soft-Core, same thing. What's intriguing (to me anyway) is how this shift from hard-core to soft-core feels. I don't miss spraying on the hard-core stuff. I don't pine for it. Every couple of days I check in with some of my longtime favorites to see if I want to wear any of them, and so far, the answer has been "no."

So I turn to one or more of my soft-core options instead. Do I still feel sexy and attractive? Definitely. The softer smells of the oils and lotions and the ritual of a slower application are more sensuous than the abandon with which I used to apply my perfume. And these scents feel much more intimate. With most of them you really have to draw close to be aware of them. They're less wall than veil.

I'm not sure why, but applying a parfum like Guerlain Shalimar (which I wore last week as a test) doesn't create the same effect. I thought that maybe it was the act of anointing that was important, and that wearing a pure parfum would do the trick, but it seems it's not just the application but the nature of the scent that needs to "click." Shalimar, which I love, felt all wrong to me for the first time ever.

The scents I am wearing now feel like a more honest reflection of who I am - and who I'm becoming - instead of a fragrant cover-up. And I think I know the source of my fragrance frenzy of the past few years. (I may or may not get into that in another post.) Let's just say that owning up to your true feelings about your situation - and not making yourself wrong to feel the way you do - frees you. It also releases the need for a lot of perfume therapy.

This is getting long, so I'll wait for another post to fill you in on some of the soft-core scent options I've found. I think even hard-core perfumistas will enjoy some of these soft-core scents.

Thank you to those of you who expressed your caring and concern after my last post. You are all very kind, and I appreciate the loving support you've given me. (Jane, I'm taking your advice.)

Never fear, perfume fans. As Julian of Norwich said so well, all is well, and all is well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

Comments

[chayaruchama]

is THAT your beautiful eye ?
Dear God, you are exquisite!

Good to hear that your spirits are in fine fettle.

[ScentScelf]

Looking forward to hear what observations you have on "soft core" scents. Have a few I like myself.

Interesting how there are different ways we "wear" scent, in the sense of augmenting who you are v. covering up v. coordinating with clothes...(we could perhaps generate a few more along these lines). Sometimes people ask "Do you wear perfumes for yourself or for others?" Perhaps another question to ask is "Do you wear perfume to be yourself or to be someone else?"

Discovery, recognition, insight...good things. That Julian is on to something. And so, I think, are you.