This Telegraph article's headline caught my eye: "Women worry about their bodies 252 times a week." That's a seven-day average. The daily average, in a study of 100 women ages 35 to 69, was 36.
This means that, on average, the women had 36 negative thoughts about themselves each day. If you figure they slept eight hours a night, it means they averaged more than two negative thoughts (2.24) an hour.
One of the study participants, a TV presenter profiled in this Daily Mail article, discovered she had 300 negative thoughts about her body every day. She says she was shocked to learn how much negative energy she was directing inward.
"To realize how thick and fast I was putting myself down all day, every day, left me quite stunned. I hadn't realized how much I was my own worst enemy. It was clear I was wasting a lot of time thinking negative things about myself, and I understood that I will never be able to feel confident if I continued like that."
The study gave the women a device that they were to click each time they noticed themselves having a negative thought about their bodies, faces, or lives.
How many times would you click the device if you were asked to pay attention to your own self-talk? Would you be at the high end of the spectrum, like the TV presenter, or are you much kinder to yourself? Are you sure? I have a feeling most of say things to ourselves we'd never dream of saying to our friends.
Over the Thanksgiving holiday, between turkey and pumpkin pie and delicious leftovers, maybe we can make it an exercise to notice our negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. 'Tis the season for counting blessings, after all.
One thing I've learned about breaking bad habits is that Nature abhors a vacuum. You have to replace the bad or hurtful thing you take away with something good. You can't just banish a negative thought and expect it to stay away. The newly empty space will be filled by something, so it's best to be the one who decides on the replacement.
Toward that end, here's a little prayer for you:
May you be blessed to see and actually believe your positive qualities, abilities and gifts. May you be blessed to remember what you came here to do. May you fully share your gifts and talents with the world. May you reconnect with any of your spirit and energy you may have lost on your way to here and now. May you be present to yourself and your life so you can notice and banish those thoughts that keep you stuck and unhappy. May you replace your painful, hurtful, negative thoughts with loving, gentle, helpful thoughts. May you revel in the glory of being alive. May you be surrounded by those who also revel in life and celebrate it with you. May you be with those who encourage and support and guide you without diminishing you. May you have mercy on yourself and all other life.
May we all have that.
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